Getting ahead in life (and enjoying it)

Recently, I was asked to answer a Question on Quora. The asker wanted to know how to stop feeling ‘behind’ in life. 

The main question that needs to be answered first is what does ‘ahead’ or ‘behind’ mean when it comes to life? Life is a game, but it can be difficult to make it in a game when you don’t. know the rules.

When playing a board game, you normally have a manual, which no one actually ever reads. When I play board games I usually look at other people playing or ask them to explain the rules to me. Not knowing the rules of the game, would get me as well as the other players extremely frustrated. I might eventually learn the rules through playing blindly, but will also certainly lose the first game. Unfortunately in life we don’t really get a second game, and if we do, we don’t remember the experience of previous games. Fortunately for us, reality is not a game per se, but rather more of a playground.

When I was a little boy, I used to play in the sand dunes near where I used to live, I would run around with a friend, and we would create our own games. The dunes were our playground, together with our minds and imagination they supplied all the necessities for creation of wonderful games. These games were ones which we always won, because we made our own rules for them. 

Life is very similar, it gives you all the necessities for great games, but if you want to win it, or at least enjoy it, you have to set up your own rules. 

Now, of course reality has some rules of its own, and you share the playground with other beings, but you are the one who decides on the winning conditions of your game. Unfortunately, most people don’t realize it and just take on rules decided by others, but it’s still their choice to follow these rules. 

Often when people say they are ‘ahead’ or ‘behind’ in life, they refer to some social standard of what is expected at a certain age or life stage. Following these social standards is exactly what I mean when I say they are following someone else’s rules. What we should all do is set our own goals and standards, and only Compare our progress to ourselves. It’s up to Us to decide what we are here to do, and what will give our lives meaning. As long as we allow others to decide it for us, we rely on them to decide whether or not we are happy. 

So ask yourself: “what do I really want to achieve to be successful in life?”

Then ask yourself: “is it really something I want, or is it something that’s expected of me to gain the love, or respect of others? (Or both)”

I recommend asking yourself that every now and then to make sure the person who determines the victory conditions of your life, is You!!

Begin deciding, and start winning your life.

Your wizard